By JUDY BRUMMER

Special to The Hays Daily News

Every parent has dreams for their children, some larger than others. Some envision their children to grow up to become doctors, lawyers or teachers, while others would like to see them become famous inventors, movie stars or even the president of the United States. Even though our dreams might be different, we all share the same wishes. We wish for our children to grow up healthy, happy and drug free, ready to take on the challenges of the world with the strength, character, and the intelligence to make the right choices.

So we teach our children right from wrong, and then we cross our fingers and hope for the best as we send them out into the world. As a parent, there are so many other forces to reckon with. We have television, music, our children's peers, and even other adults in the community that can promote or model behavior and attitudes that are a direct contradiction of what we are teaching or what we expect. And that is over and above what already is going on inside of our children naturally as they are growing into free-thinking adults. So what can we do to help make our wishes come true?

We can take a much more active role in helping our children make the right choices. As parents, sometimes we are not exactly sure how to go about doing that. After all, they were not born with an owner's manual. We hear things like, "make sure they know you love them" or "let them know that you are always there to talk to them about anything." But what can we do more specifically?

Have dinner with your family. Research consistently finds that children who often eat dinner with their families are more likely to:

* Do well in school.

* Be emotionally content.

* Have positive peer relationships.

* Have lower levels of stress.

* Be bored less often.

* Be at lower risk for thoughts of suicide.

* Not engage in substance abusing behavior

Sept. 24 is national Family Day -- A Day to Eat Dinner With Your Children. Join others across the country in celebrating time together as a family. Family dinners don't have to be elaborate. Throw something simple together at home, order in, or go out to eat -- it doesn't matter -- what your kids want at the table is you!

Another option is attending a workshop to gain ideas and to network with other parents. The Ellis County Community Partnership is offering a free five-session workshop called Guiding Good Choices to all parents and caregivers of children ages 8 to 14.

GGC offers specifics on how to prevent drug use in your family, how to develop clear guidelines and effectively communicate them, and how to help your children stay out of trouble while still keeping their friends and having a good time. It also offers specifics on how to manage conflict with your children and how to strengthen family bonds. (When a child feels bonded to his family, there is a greater chance they will adopt the beliefs and standards of their family.)

The award-winning, research-based program helps prevent youth substance abuse and delinquency by helping parents develop the skills they need to effectively guide their children toward safe and healthy choices.

Not only does taking part in this program give you the opportunity to help your children make good choices, but it also allows you to network with other parents who are facing the same sort of challenges you are. In addition, dinner and childcare are provided at no charge with each session. Workshops are being offered this fall at two different locations. One offering will be at Messiah Lutheran Church on Thursday evenings beginning Aug. 30 and continuing through Sept. 27. Another offering will be at the First United Methodist Church on Monday evenings beginning Oct. 8 and continuing through Nov. 5. If you would like to register for one of these workshops or would like more information, contact Judy Brummer at the Ellis County Community Partnership at (785) 625-5521.

Judy Brummer is parenting coordinator with the Ellis County Community Partnership.