Everyone's either heard the story, seen the photo or been personally involved with a firefighter rescuing a cat from a tree. They're heart-warming anecdotes of Rockwellian stature. So even though every such safety officer would testify under oath they've never ever seen a cat's skeletal remains near the top of somebody's cottonwood, I believe it's every firefighter's secret fantasy to get the call.

And why not? You're going to become a hero in some bawling kid's eye -- with relatively minimal risk of injury. Unless the cat's recently been neutered and has some anger issues to go along with its fear of heights. That might just be a horse of a different feather.

Where would you draw the line, though? Obviously, since dogs can't climb trees you'd never be called to fetch Rover from such a precarious perch. Pet birds on the loose wouldn't need any assistance. And if your kid's goldfish made it up to even the first branch, the only reason you'd dial 9-1-1 is if you needed help tanning Junior's behind.

What about a 5-foot long iguana? Seriously, that's the call that came in Wednesday afternoon. After a chuckle or two, the folks at dispatch didn't think that warranted a fire department response.

So animal control officer Stan Moore headed over to Carrie and Steve's house on East 23rd Street. The family recently had moved in from the country, with their four kids and "Dude" in tow. Dude is 15-year-old Brandon's green iguana who hangs out in a large plywood cage in the back yard.

And Dude's every bit of 5 feet. His rough skin, sharp tail, pointy scales on his back and long clawed fingers seem to contradict his gentle disposition. Dude has flap of skin called a dewlap dangling from his chin that swings from side to side when bobbing his head -- which he does when he's happy.

Anyway, Dude disappeared somehow Tuesday night. At first, Carrie thought somebody had stolen him. After searching around the yard, their gaze turned upward. Some 30 feet up a catalpa tree, there was Dude. Taking a siesta. Brandon tried coaxing him down with food to no avail. And the branches were too small to support any in-house rescue.

So a rather embarrassed Carrie made the call while a few neighbors began to congregate (watching from a safe distance across the street). Stan assessed the situation and called the fire department to bring over a ladder truck which, once positioned, allowed for a rather speedy capture. Stan placed the giant lizard in a pillow case and reunited Dude with his family.

Stan has only been with animal control since 2005, but he's had his share of unique rescues and captures. Porcupines, snakes, all kinds of wildlife. But never an iguana.

"It was a pretty fun call," he said.

He's a better man than I, Gunga Din. There might have been a little extra guano on the scene had I been tasked with grabbing the iguana. And, had I done my research ahead of time, I would have told the family: "Listen, these things can fall 40 to 50 feet from a tree and not hurt themselves."

But that would have been like telling a little crying kid you've never seen a cat skeleton in a tree, either. It's not good customer relations.

So Dude is back in his cage, except when being walked on a leash. Steve and Brandon were going to build him a pool in the backyard Saturday afternoon. Dude keeps a beady eye on everything as he chomps down some apple slices -- head bobbing, dewlap swinging.

The Dude abides.

Patrick Lowry is editor and publisher of The Hays Daily News.

plowry@dailynews.net