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Yoders welcome a new baby boy recently -11/25/2014, 9:34 AM

Stepfamily dynamics can be tricky to manage -11/24/2014, 9:55 AM

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Local Knights of Columbus announce essay winners -11/21/2014, 8:57 AM

Grocery collection for ECMA on Saturday -11/21/2014, 8:56 AM

Feast on these holiday savings this season -11/20/2014, 8:13 AM

Birthdays (Nov. 20, 2014) -11/20/2014, 8:13 AM

HPMH partners with counties for outreach -11/19/2014, 3:49 PM

Kansas Next Step announces honors -11/19/2014, 2:09 PM

Senior volunteers honored for years of service to communities -11/19/2014, 9:09 AM

Living life by the five senses -- plus another -11/19/2014, 9:09 AM

'Big Hero 6' is slightly under-inflated -11/18/2014, 9:15 AM

KHP gives tips for safe Thanksgiving travel -11/17/2014, 1:06 PM

Latest donations move FHSU closer to goal -11/17/2014, 1:06 PM

Kansas is reading to preschoolers -11/17/2014, 12:56 PM

Great American Smokeout is Thursday -11/17/2014, 11:35 AM

Keep little helpers safe in kitchen -11/17/2014, 11:35 AM

Moran receives Legislator of Year Award from home care association -11/17/2014, 11:26 AM

Hammond named to fraternity commission -11/17/2014, 9:45 AM

No stepfamily is immune to holiday stress -11/17/2014, 9:26 AM

Community Bulletin Board (Nov. 17, 2014) -11/17/2014, 9:26 AM

Get the most from grazing crop residue -11/16/2014, 5:35 PM

Clubs and meetings (Nov. 16, 2014) -11/16/2014, 12:52 PM

Choice overload -11/14/2014, 9:05 AM

God and Ebola -11/14/2014, 9:05 AM

Birthday -11/13/2014, 8:30 AM

10 tips for stress-free Thanksgiving cooking, planning -11/13/2014, 8:30 AM

Do you need that annual mammogram? -11/12/2014, 11:52 AM

'Warcraft' preview stirs excitement; 'Interstellar' is solid -11/11/2014, 8:40 AM

Favorite coffee cake and being introduced to Sassy Sundae -11/11/2014, 8:40 AM

Many types of stressors can affect holidays -11/10/2014, 9:09 AM

Time for film's encore, German cooking at library -11/10/2014, 9:09 AM

Business Briefcase (Nov. 9, 2014) -11/9/2014, 4:30 PM

Westview hosting youth lock-in -11/7/2014, 8:22 AM

A prayer that stands the test of time still holds true today -11/7/2014, 8:22 AM

Extension program gives tech tips for parents -11/6/2014, 9:24 AM

Birthdays -11/6/2014, 9:24 AM

Foreigners must report land holdings -11/5/2014, 3:39 PM

Jana's Campaign fundraiser nets $33,000 -11/5/2014, 10:29 AM

Getting out and voting, because I can -11/5/2014, 8:40 AM

Waterline works will hamper traffic -11/4/2014, 4:08 PM

Email issues resolved -11/4/2014, 11:43 AM

Gloria's birthday present, followed by barbecue pizza -11/4/2014, 8:41 AM

Many live in stepfamilies in United States today -11/3/2014, 8:58 AM

Taking care in providing proper animal health -11/2/2014, 8:31 AM

Clubs and meetings (Nov. 2, 2014) -11/2/2014, 11:10 AM

After 5 gathering Nov. 10 in Hays -10/31/2014, 7:50 AM

Time for trick or treating -10/31/2014, 7:49 AM

Gella's to show Turning Points film encore -10/30/2014, 1:53 PM

State's Cold Weather Rule takes effect Saturday -10/29/2014, 9:33 AM

'John Wick' is efficient excitement for flick -10/28/2014, 9:07 AM

Serving up homemade cinnamon rolls -10/28/2014, 9:07 AM

Hansen Foundation awards grant to HaysMed Foundation -10/27/2014, 10:20 AM

HaysMed's cardiovascular-stroke team earns award -10/27/2014, 10:11 AM

Signs of suicide in teens should be dealt with quickly -10/27/2014, 8:58 AM

c_ -10/26/2014, 5:57 PM

Rosary rally takes place in Liebenthal -10/24/2014, 8:37 AM

Pink Impact conference coming to North Oak -10/24/2014, 8:37 AM

Living by the law of love in today's society -10/24/2014, 8:37 AM

Dominican Sisters host annual mission benefit bazaar -10/24/2014, 8:37 AM

'The Ogallala Road' author to speak at FHSU -10/23/2014, 9:40 AM

Industry support leads to welding awards for NCK Tech -10/23/2014, 9:24 AM

Birthday -10/23/2014, 9:24 AM

Natoma group elects new officers -10/23/2014, 9:24 AM

Tricks to making jams and jellies for holiday giving -10/23/2014, 9:24 AM

'Fury' is visceral and slightly shapeless -10/22/2014, 10:20 AM

Singing, making cheese and doing laundry all part of chores -10/21/2014, 8:51 AM

Parenting adolescents no easy chore for parents -10/20/2014, 9:47 AM

Breaking down using distillers grains on the ranch -10/19/2014, 1:12 PM

Business Briefcase (Oct. 19, 2014) -10/19/2014, 1:12 PM

Clubs and meetings (Oct. 19, 2014) -10/19/2014, 2:24 PM

2014 Kansas Speaks Survey finds wide dissatisfaction with politics -10/17/2014, 3:54 PM

Stamper memorial scholarship awarded at KSU -10/17/2014, 2:24 PM

Adding Christ's love to everyday situations wards off harm -10/17/2014, 9:14 AM

Producers hope to cash in on commercial -10/16/2014, 8:22 AM

Finding out you're technologically challenged -10/15/2014, 8:51 AM

Phillipsburg couple part of new Beach museum exhibit -10/15/2014, 4:25 PM

Medicare open enrollment begins Wednesday -10/14/2014, 3:21 PM

A corn roast and mountain pies -10/14/2014, 8:16 AM

'The Judge' bends and breaks -10/14/2014, 8:16 AM

Tips to helping children be good eaters for mom and dad -10/13/2014, 3:59 PM

Mother-daughter relationships can be difficult -10/13/2014, 9:04 AM

Business Briefcase (Oct. 12, 2014) -10/12/2014, 11:33 AM

History, known management available in SunSup -10/12/2014, 11:33 AM

Clubs and meetings (Oct. 12, 2014) -10/12/2014, 11:33 AM

Let go of unhappiness -10/10/2014, 8:12 AM

Money personality affects life, relationships -10/10/2014, 8:12 AM

Spring cleaning in the fall -10/8/2014, 8:13 AM

'Gone Girl' jump starts end-of-the-year cinema -10/7/2014, 10:04 AM

Amish PTA and fried rice -10/7/2014, 8:16 AM

Palco native Romine to retire from KSHSAA -10/6/2014, 2:30 PM

Dealing with argumentative teens a challenge -10/6/2014, 9:02 AM

Clubs and meetings (Oct. 5, 2014) -10/5/2014, 2:51 PM

Business Briefcase (Oct. 5, 2014) -10/5/2014, 2:51 PM

BVD testing could pay off big for farmers and ranchers -10/5/2014, 2:42 PM

To whom do we listen -10/3/2014, 8:49 AM

Hays After 5 meeting Oct. 13 -10/3/2014, 8:49 AM

Ellis County FSA with limited staff this week -10/2/2014, 1:56 PM

Holiday instant scratch tickets now on sale -10/2/2014, 9:44 AM

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SPOTLIGHT
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A time to focus on family

Published on -11/28/2013, 1:24 PM

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Thanksgiving week is set aside annually to recognize and appreciate families and to reinforce and encourage healthy family life and family values. This week as your family gathers for the holiday, take time to reflect on the benefits obtained by being a member of a family and consider ways you can strengthen your family.

It is possible for every family to grow close, to develop more cohesiveness, to become stronger. According to research done by John DeFrain at the University of Nebraska, when people across the country and around the world describe the qualities that make their family strong, they list similar things.

Here is the list of characteristics of strong families identified by DeFrain's research:

1. Appreciation and affection: Caring for each other, friendship, playfulness, humor and respect for individuality.

2 Commitment: Honesty, trust, faithfulness, dependability and sharing.

3. Positive communication: Giving compliments, sharing feelings, avoiding blaming, being able to compromise and agreeing to disagree.

4. Managing stress and crisis effectively: Adaptable, sees crises as challenges and opportunities, growing through crises together, open to change, able to bounce back from stress and crisis.

5. Spiritual well-being: Hope, faith, compassion, shared ethical values.

6. Enjoyable time together: Lots of quality time, enjoying each other's company, sharing fun activities and simple good times.

Thanksgiving is a great time to let family members know how thankful you are for them. Fortunately, an appreciative attitude doesn't cost anything, it takes very little time, it's always available and it can last the whole year long. Here are a few quick suggestions to share your appreciation and gratitude at Thanksgiving time:

* Put a note under each person's plate at the Thanksgiving table, mentioning a specific reason why you are thankful for them. For example, "I am thankful for Aunt Rosalee because she makes the best pies!" Or "I am thankful for the way Cousin Joe makes me laugh." Before you pass the turkey, have each person peek under their plates to discover why they are appreciated.

* Set a jar and small slips of paper in an easily accessible place. Ask each person to note someone or something they are thankful for and drop it into the jar. After the family meal, designate someone to read aloud all the Thanksgiving thoughts in the jar.

* While lingering over the pumpkin pie, go around the table and have each person tell what they appreciate about their family or what they are thankful for this year. You'll enjoy hearing what each person has to share.

* If family members are too shy or can't think of anything on the spot, play "Thanksgiving From A to Z." The person who starts says they are thankful for something that starts with the letter "A," the next person the letter "B," the next "C" and so on. In a small group, add a twist -- where each person repeats what has been said before. For instance, "Dad is thankful for apple pie, Grandma is thankful for baking bread, Mary is thankful for her cat, and I'm thankful for daisies."

* As the family gathers for Thanksgiving, promise yourself you'll give out at least three genuine compliments before the day ends. The nice thing about compliments is they tend to be contagious. There's no telling how the appreciation and affection will spread.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Linda Beech is a Kansas State University Research & Extension agent in Ellis County specializing in family and consumer sciences. lbeech@ksu.edu

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