This is the ninth of 10 articles about unhappiness in contemporary women.

Q: What makes modern women happy?

A: In an article published in the British newspaper the Observer, author Geraldine Bedell addresses the issue of women's unhappiness. She proposes, first of all, that women need to be in touch with their own values. With the self-help frenzy about how to improve everything from looks to weight to clothes, women have difficulty distinguishing themselves from the expectations of others and the media blitz of society.

Bedell states that the things women covet and desire and the things that make women happy are not the same things. For example, research shows increases in income produce only short term happiness. The same results are true for acquiring possessions. No matter what people get, they pursue more possessions. Social scientists refer to this behavior as the hedonic treadmill.

Relationships, according to Bedell, can go either way, making people happy or unhappy. In general, relationships in which the couples are committed and consider their relationships non-negotiable are happiest.

Bedell sums up the profile of a happy woman in the following way. Such a woman most likely is in a giving and loving relationship, is a member of a family she likes, has the support of close friends, and works part-time or for herself. She has control of her time, is involved in her community, has activities beyond herself that are consuming and compelling, is physically active, and has a spirituality that commits her to something beyond herself.

Author Marcus Buckingham, in "Find Your Strongest Life: What the Happiest and Most Successful Women do Differently," identified four feelings that happy and successful women have in common. First, these women feel effective and empowered. They always anticipate the next day positively and enthusiastically. They report frequently getting so involved in their work that they lose all track of time. Lastly, they report feeling energized and invigorated at the end of the day.

In the book "The Case for Marriage: Why Married People are Happier, Healthier, and Better Off Financially," authors Linda Waite and Maggie Gallagher offer several reasons why marriage makes people happier, women included. The first advantage of marriage is financial. Although two cannot live as cheaply as one, two people can live as cheaply as one and a half people. Married men are more successful at work. Married women who do not have children earn more than single women.

In terms of longevity, married people have longer life expectancies. The mortality rates for single women and single men are higher than married women and married men, respectively. Single individuals spend more time in hospitals and have higher mortality rates following surgery than married persons.

Married women are more likely to rate health status as very good or excellent than single women. Both married men and women have better health, but men also have better immune systems.

The suicide rates for married men are lower than those for single and divorced men. Both married men and women report less depression and stress compared to single people. They are also half as likely to report unhappiness with their lives.

Studies from the 1960s documented that marriage benefited men but not women, according to Waite and Gallagher. However, more recent studies document beneficial effects from marriage for both women and men. Married couples report more satisfying sexual relationships than single and cohabitating men and women.

Although there still are inequities between men and women, the gap is smaller, according to the authors. Women have gained more access to education, opportunities for higher status and higher income jobs, and there are more norms supporting equality.

Dr. William Cottringer, author and life coach, recommends several strategies that promote and sustain happiness. First, he advises people need to accept they cannot make others happy, nor can others make them happy. Women, in particular, believe they can change significant others and frequently maintain hopelessly optimistic attitudes for years. Acceptance of the inevitability of highly unlikely outcomes and severing relationships that are destructive are necessary for happiness.

Cottringer recommends physical exercise to overcome depression and produce feelings of well-being. He also emphasizes ridding oneself of unrealistic expectations that are unnecessary and virtually unattainable. Women who learn to modulate their expectations to eliminate perfectionism and the need to be all things to all people are much more likely to achieve contentment and happiness.

* Next week's article will discuss how current trends in families are affecting women's happiness.

Judy Caprez is associate professor and director of social work at Fort Hays State University. Send your questions in care of the department of sociology and social work,

Rarick Hall, FHSU.