Emotional development key in early childhood
Published on -7/2/2009, 8:34 AM
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This is the sixth in a series of 10 articles about meeting the needs of children during the first five years.
Q: How do bonding and the emotional availability of parents affect the emotional development of young children?
A: Dr. Zeyneys Biringen, researcher, author and psychologist, addresses the issue of emotional connectedness between parents and children. In her book, "Raising A Secure Child: Creating An Emotional Connection Between You and Your Child," Biringen states 25 percent to 30 percent of so-called normal families have children who are emotionally insecure.
Biringen emphasizes the significance of bonding as the foundation for emotional development. However, in order to bond with children, parents have to be emotionally available. She defines eight principles of emotional availability. First, she recommends identifying one's own strategies to make connections with one's children. For small children, that principle means spending time in activities and games or reading favorite books. One-on-one quality time cannot be replicated by material purchases, time spent in family groups, or time spent with friends while parents monitor play.
A second principle of Biringen is to assess strengths and weaknesses in the parent-child relationship. Building on strengths and eliminating weaknesses would follow. Strengths such as enjoyment of reading together could be expanded. Too much busyness of parents could be decreased to allow more parent-child time.
A third principle stipulates creating nurturing bonds with children of all ages. However, attachments must be established with children in the formative years in order to continue bonding throughout later years. The nature of the emotional connections change as children age but are built on early attachments.
Young children also need emotional safety nets such as consistency, predictability and structure. Along with emotional security, children need parents who can deal with problem behaviors without alienating their children. Such parental skills depend on the abilities to discipline children without anger, ridicule and rejection. Parents who overreact and punish harshly create emotional distance between themselves and their children.
Helping children deal with their own emotions means providing feedback and guidance regarding their relationships with friends and other significant persons. Teaching children to identify and cope with their emotions is critical to their emotional development.
Finally, Biringen emphasizes providing support for children in times of stress. These times might include moving, starting school, parental divorce or family deaths.
The definition of attachment or bonding usually means the emotional bonds babies establish with their primary caregivers, based on the comfort, trust and security provided. The strongest bonds exist between mothers and children, unless mothers are absent or unavailable. Strong bonds with primary caregivers also are supplemented by other caregivers such as other family members, teachers and daycare providers.
Attachment researcher Dr. Alan Sroufe at the Institute of Child Development, University of Minnesota, found infants securely attached to their mothers have better self-esteem and later become more self-reliant when toddlers. Sroufe studied 180 disadvantaged children for 19 years. These children had secure mother-infant bonds, although unstable lives. They were self-sufficient, had low rates of pathology, had good peer relationships and did well in school at all ages, particularly in math. Sroufe believes infant attachments affect self-confidence, attitude and achievement.
Sroufe also found stresses of instability and loss could deflect subjects from positive life courses. Children who had histories of secure attachments could become less secure when suffering losses. Conversely, poorly bonded infants could become more secure if their mothers entered stable love relationships or recovered from depression.
Researcher Dr. Carollee Howes from the University of California-Los Angeles found children attach to caregivers but at a lower rate of attachment than with mothers. Additionally, Howes found toddlers securely attached to teachers were more gregarious and preschoolers attached to teachers were more sociable. Children insecurely attached to teachers were more hostile, antisocial, aggressive or withdrawn.
* Next week's article will discuss the risks of early emotional depravation in young children.
Judy Caprez is associate professor and director of social work at Fort Hays State University. Send your questions to her in care of the department of sociology and social work, Rarick Hall, FHSU.
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