www.mozilla.com Weather Central
Voices
Headlines

Photographs of rural life in China on exhibit in FHSU's Memorial Union -10/1/2014, 10:32 AM

Encore Series to show Julie Fowlis -10/1/2014, 10:32 AM

The power of hedge apples stands strong through years -10/1/2014, 9:36 AM

Library to premiere short film about Hays Arts Council -9/30/2014, 12:11 PM

'The Equalizer' ends up in the green -9/30/2014, 9:18 AM

Fondue the perfect treat for party -9/30/2014, 9:08 AM

Clubs and meetings (Sept. 28, 2014) -9/28/2014, 3:37 PM

As winter wheat insurance deadline approaches, consider SCO -9/28/2014, 3:37 PM

Business Briefcase (Sept. 28, 2014) -9/28/2014, 3:37 PM

Huelskamp to host additional October town halls -9/26/2014, 4:32 PM

FHSU Theatre season premiers in October with 'Hello, Dolly!' -9/26/2014, 4:23 PM

American Democracy Project presents Ukraine series -9/26/2014, 3:46 PM

Black Madonna replica coming to Hays in October -9/26/2014, 10:10 AM

For 3rd year, FHSU makes national grouping of Lead Initiative civic engagement institutions -9/25/2014, 4:45 PM

Robots developed in France will enter curriculum for teaching, research -9/25/2014, 4:44 PM

FHSU Hispanic American Leadership Organization presents Antonio Neves -9/25/2014, 4:44 PM

Be aware to build an emergency fund -9/25/2014, 8:32 AM

Downs grad named RA at Cloud County -9/24/2014, 2:07 PM

Road project meeting planned in Norton -9/24/2014, 4:55 PM

Girl Scouts hosting free community event -9/24/2014, 4:01 PM

Hays Symphony Orchestra to open 2014-15 music season -9/24/2014, 4:01 PM

Students assemble for the 6th annual Poetry Slam -9/24/2014, 4:01 PM

FHSU to host annual majors and graduate programs fair -9/24/2014, 4:01 PM

Nation's largest taxpayer group honors Huelskamp -9/24/2014, 10:51 AM

Teach Ag Day celebrates opportunities -9/24/2014, 10:24 AM

HaysMed co-hosts summit on human trafficking -9/24/2014, 2:15 PM

American Farm Bureau Federation names Kansas lawmakers 'Friends of Farm Bureau' -9/24/2014, 10:24 AM

Looking to the past in dealing with the present, future -9/24/2014, 9:55 AM

Fun at the fair -- once again -9/24/2014, 9:55 AM

Nex-Tech Wireless to offer iPhone 6, iPhone6 Plus -9/23/2014, 11:11 AM

'This is Where I Leave You' leaves room for improvement -9/23/2014, 9:02 AM

Birthdays and gluten-free goodies -9/23/2014, 9:02 AM

Kansas Originals market plans Spirit of Kansas Festival -9/22/2014, 8:01 PM

Electric cars to test their endurance at the High Plains ElectroRally -9/22/2014, 12:06 PM

FHSU students can now earn a sustainability certificate -9/22/2014, 11:20 AM

Local students among 39 awarded for Hunter Scholarships at FHSU -9/22/2014, 11:19 AM

Peer pressure can play role in raising adolescents -9/22/2014, 8:45 AM

Business Briefcase (Sept. 21, 2014) -9/21/2014, 2:33 PM

FHSU one of 25 schools across the nation selected for 'hackathon' -9/19/2014, 3:55 PM

Cities to receive funding for road improvement projects -9/19/2014, 2:24 PM

Kansas Farm Bureau celebrates Farm Safety Week -9/19/2014, 2:15 PM

McDonald’s of WaKeeney invests in library -9/18/2014, 5:45 PM

State receives $3.5 million grant to reduce infant mortality -9/18/2014, 3:00 PM

Kansas highway system ranked 5th in national report -9/18/2014, 11:51 AM

Dixon joins FHSU with social media marketing as her mission -9/18/2014, 11:15 AM

In case of emergency, prepare a grab-and-go kit -9/18/2014, 9:08 AM

Birthday -9/18/2014, 9:07 AM

Association donates 105 car seats to KHP -9/18/2014, 4:50 PM

Kansas receives CDC funding to gather data -9/17/2014, 4:14 PM

Brownback orders flags lowered -9/17/2014, 11:08 AM

Life during retirement is still plenty busy -9/17/2014, 8:51 AM

Generations briefs (Sept. 17, 2014) -9/17/2014, 8:50 AM

Military marquee -9/17/2014, 12:00 PM

'No Good Deed?' More like, 'No good, dude' -9/16/2014, 9:38 PM

Delta Zeta Turtle Tug: Tug your heart out -9/16/2014, 4:19 PM

Moss-Thorns Gallery of Art hosts exhibitions throughout the year -9/16/2014, 4:19 PM

Moran names service academy selection board -9/16/2014, 4:19 PM

Department of Informatics offers a new concentration in health informatics -9/16/2014, 4:19 PM

Magician on this season's 'America's Got Talent' will perform on the FHSU campus -9/16/2014, 4:19 PM

Parenting adolescents takes many twists, turns -9/15/2014, 9:20 AM

-9/14/2014, 1:57 PM

Capital investments for cow-calf enterprises in profitable times -9/14/2014, 1:57 PM

Business briefcase (Sept. 14, 2014) -9/14/2014, 1:57 PM

Stork club -9/14/2014, 1:57 PM

Hays Recreation Commission calendar -9/14/2014, 1:57 PM

The Paradox of the cross -9/12/2014, 10:10 AM

Halls of ivy -9/11/2014, 2:16 PM

Local celebs to get behind wheels of race cars -9/11/2014, 8:50 AM

Make and take a pizza for family meal -9/11/2014, 8:50 AM

Children's center hosting events in October -9/9/2014, 5:03 PM

NKAVI meeting Saturday -9/8/2014, 2:34 PM

During September, pay it forward by giving blood -9/8/2014, 4:54 PM

Ribbon cut on K-23 project north of Hoxie -9/8/2014, 11:46 AM

AG Schmidt to visit western Kansas -9/8/2014, 11:37 AM

Kansans invited to come to statewide transportation meetings -9/8/2014, 11:37 AM

Pilot projects to launch Kanstarter -9/8/2014, 11:28 AM

Parenting adolescents starts when they are younger -9/8/2014, 9:11 AM

Clubs and meetings -9/7/2014, 3:59 PM

NSP elects officers -9/7/2014, 3:23 PM

Busting myths about ticks in the U.S. -- Part II -9/7/2014, 3:23 PM

Business Briefcase (Sept. 7, 2014) -9/7/2014, 3:23 PM

Kansas Lottery launches new 'Frogger' game -9/5/2014, 10:26 AM

Dealing with mental illness -9/5/2014, 8:52 AM

Schodorf points to discrepancy in U.S. Senate ruling -9/4/2014, 4:58 PM

Kansas Emergency Preparedness Day is Monday -9/4/2014, 2:59 PM

Guidebook, videos offer convenient information for travel planning -9/4/2014, 12:24 PM

State treasurer announces $1K giveaway at state fair -9/4/2014, 12:23 PM

Extension series brings knowledge -9/4/2014, 12:24 PM

FHSU's Career Services hosts its 27th annual Career-Internship Day -9/3/2014, 4:28 PM

Discuss watering tips for the drought during Science Cafe -9/3/2014, 4:28 PM

Tigers in Service, Hays Rotary Club host 4th annual Paint-A-Thon -9/3/2014, 4:28 PM

FHSU's online degree program earns national recognition -9/3/2014, 4:27 PM

Massage therapy training now offered through Department of Health and Human Performance -9/3/2014, 4:27 PM

5th-graders will take a field trip to Forsyth Library -9/3/2014, 4:27 PM

Local grocery store partners with FHSU to donate food items -9/3/2014, 4:27 PM

FHSU alumnus accepted into the 2015 NCECA exhibition -9/3/2014, 2:56 PM

Dedication ceremony for K-161 in Bird City planned -9/3/2014, 2:56 PM

Local students awarded degrees from FHSU -9/3/2014, 1:44 PM

Estes brings unclaimed property to state fair -9/3/2014, 11:01 AM

Awards announced for Sept. 11 National Day of Service and Remembrance Mini-Grants -9/3/2014, 11:01 AM

myTown Calendar

SPOTLIGHT
[var top_story_head]

Steps can be taken for teens to protect against dating violence

Published on -8/26/2013, 9:42 AM

Printer-friendly version
E-Mail This Story

This is the eighth in a series about abuse and violence in adolescent dating and romantic relationships.

Q: How can adolescents in abusive relationships protect themselves?

A: First, teens need to be aware of all warning signs and red flags about abusive and violent relationships. Unfortunately, many teens only learn these signs after they are already involved in destructive romantic relationships.

A fact sheet from the Stanford University Family Prevention Council spells out strategies for teens to escape abusive relationships. The information includes several options. Telling a friend or relative what is happening is a start, or calling a teen dating abuse hotline. The next recommendation is to break up in a public place with friends present in order to minimize violent reactions.

Another recommendation is to change the school route and the locker location at school. It might be necessary to change one's email or cell number. Keeping change or a calling card handy for emergency calls is recommended. Using a buddy system to go places with someone else is a good idea, and so is finding safe places to go. That recommendation means staying away from isolated locations or places that make one vulnerable, such as a club that is so loud and dark no one would know if someone was in danger.

As a preparation for possible legal action, teens being victimized should keep journals that document what happens. Although this recommendation is after the fact, abused teens should educate themselves about abuse and violence. No one wants to intentionally get involved in future abusive relationships, but without education and counseling, such repetition is probable.

The article also gives suggestions for friends of abused teens. Friends can listen without judging, let the abused friends know you believe them, and that you do not think they are at fault. Friends need to be patient and supportive. Friends can accompany their friends when they seek help. They can go places with them in order to minimize the danger and the fear of the abused friends. The last piece of advice for friends is not to confront the abusers. Confrontation can trigger more violence that would be directed toward the victims.

In a publication from the Alabama Coalition against Domestic Violence, there is a list of Dating Safety tips. When dating someone new, teens can double-date for a while. Before leaving for a date, teens should know the plans and tell them to a friend or family member.

A real and significant tip is not to drink too much. A victimized dating partner becomes essentially helpless when excessive alcohol leaves them defenseless. If teens leave a party with someone they don't know, they need to tell someone where they are going. Actually, going with somebody one doesn't know is not a good idea.

Teens need to be firm and direct in new relationships. They should not present themselves as vulnerable and needy. Most of all, teens need to trust their own instincts. If situations feel uncomfortable, teens should figure out ways to get themselves out of the situations.

Adolescents need to learn what makes intimate relationships healthy, giving them a frame of reference to compare their dating and romantic relationships. On a website from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, healthfinder.gov, there is a list of things that constitute healthy teen dating relationships. Both parties need to feel valued, respected and supported by each other. Decisions are made through discussion and consensus. Both dating partners maintain friendships and interests outside the romantic relationships. Communication is open and honest. Disagreements are settled by negotiation and compromise. There are more happy times than bad times.

Additional data on healthy relationships is from an article from Stanford University Medical Center on healthy teen relationships. Dating partners need to trust one another. They also need to take responsibility for their own behavior. In abusive and violent dating, the adolescent who is in control blames the victimized party for the abuse.

When teens practice healthy dating, there are many benefits from these relationships. In the latter teen years, adolescents can learn about the opposite sex, learn how to communicate thoughts and feelings, and how to develop new hobbies and interests. One of the best benefits from close teen relationships is learning how their decisions and thinking affects others, provided the others are not abusive and violent. In abusive situations, teens develop distorted self-concepts and unhealthy ways to handle intimate relationships.

In abusive and violent relationships, teens do not learn interpersonal skills, effective problem-solving skills, appropriate empathy, and sound, emotional development. The longer teens stay in abusive relationships, the more they miss -- and the more difficulty they experience getting out.

* Next week's article will discuss how parents can help teens prevent or handle abusive relationships.

Judy Caprez is an associate professor of social work at Fort Hays State University. Send your questions in care of the department of sociology and social work, Rarick Hall, FHSU.

digg delicious facebook stumbleupon google Newsvine
More News and Photos

Associated Press Videos

AP Breaking News
AP Nation-World News

View this site in another language.

Kansas News