Candlelight service hopes to help heal
By GAYLE WEBER
Three local support groups concerned with the healing process following the loss of family members will host a holiday Candlelight Service of Remembrance at 7 p.m. Sunday at First Presbyterian Church, 2900 Hall.
Ann Leiker, director of the Center for Life Experiences, will lead the service that will allow people to grieve the loss of loved ones by bringing photographs, sharing stories and lighting a candle to remember them.
Alan Scheuerman, who lost a son in 1981 and his wife in 2008, attended last year's service and said the holiday season is when losses can affect people the most.
"This time of year with Christmas and Thanksgiving and New Year's, you think about your losses, your loved ones, the things they brought to your life," Scheuerman said.
Scheuerman, Russell, and Doreen Timken, Hays, are members of Healing After Loss, one of the groups sponsoring Sunday's service.
"The holidays for some -- particularly people that have lost a wife or husband -- they don't feel like celebrating Christmas anymore," Timken said. "It's tough because it's for families."
Timken said although she lost a 19-year-old daughter, both of her parents and her husband in a short time span, she is left with some blessings.
"I still decorate and try to think of some funny things and try to pass that long," Timken said, noting she'll be spending the holidays with her son, his wife and their two children.
The Healing After Loss group has taught both Scheuerman and Timken that although their situations are unique, there are others experiencing the same feelings and thoughts.
"This is a diverse group, and I really think that helps more," Timken said. "You get a lot of different scenarios, different ideas. Grief knows no boundaries."
The candlelight service began in 1986 shortly after the Healing Hearts group started up for people dealing with the loss of a child.
"We're trying to remember our kids in some special way for the holidays because it's a hard time for all of us," said Doris Schmidt, Victoria, who lost her 25-year-old son in 1996 and then her husband almost two years ago.
The Healing After Loss group for adult losses meets at 7 p.m. the first and third Tuesdays of the month. The Healing Hearts group for parents who have lost children meets at 7 p.m. the second and fourth Thursdays of the month. And the newest support group, Survivors of Suicide, meets at 7 p.m. the third Monday of each month. All meetings, as well as Sunday's candlelight service, are open to the public and are facilitated by the Center for Life Experiences at First Presbyterian Church.