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The high court's high-handedness -7/21/2014, 8:57 AM

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Backpacks for Kids -7/20/2014, 4:52 PM

Our unwillingness to defend ourselves -7/18/2014, 10:51 AM

Remembering a man who championed freedom -7/18/2014, 10:51 AM

GOP split -7/17/2014, 8:38 AM

New Kansas senator -7/17/2014, 8:37 AM

Who'll build the roads? -7/17/2014, 8:37 AM

Reagan: In or out? -7/16/2014, 2:45 PM

'Unbroken' WWII vet more than a hero -7/16/2014, 2:44 PM

Savor the fruits of your labor -7/16/2014, 2:44 PM

Erasing candidate's standards -7/15/2014, 11:36 AM

Returning to Trail Wood -7/15/2014, 10:13 AM

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Strangers in a remarkable land -7/14/2014, 9:11 AM

Courageous or spineless? Our actions decide -7/14/2014, 9:11 AM

Ambition: An unlikely gift to Kansas voters -7/13/2014, 11:16 AM

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Water watch -7/13/2014, 11:16 AM

Scenic outlooks -7/11/2014, 9:18 AM

China's research trumps teaching -7/11/2014, 9:17 AM

Important slow news -7/10/2014, 9:42 AM

We've got a promise to keep -7/10/2014, 9:33 AM

The white combine calls -7/9/2014, 10:02 AM

Vote for family values -7/9/2014, 10:02 AM

Politicians making a mockery of my faith -7/9/2014, 10:02 AM

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Rural students deserve 21st Century education -7/8/2014, 9:10 AM

The education table dance -7/8/2014, 9:10 AM

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Government as God -7/7/2014, 9:38 AM

EPA affecting others -7/7/2014, 9:38 AM

'Narrow' decision from the narrow-minded -7/7/2014, 9:38 AM

The tax trap -7/6/2014, 4:35 PM

Rulings produce 'First Amendment fireworks' -7/6/2014, 4:35 PM

Firefighter salaries -7/6/2014, 4:35 PM

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Dan Johnson, 1936-2014 -7/3/2014, 7:12 AM

New Iraq offensive backfires -7/3/2014, 7:11 AM

Setting things straight -7/3/2014, 7:11 AM

'Crapitalism' -7/3/2014, 7:11 AM

Feeding peace throughout the world -7/2/2014, 9:01 AM

Half way is still only half way -7/2/2014, 9:01 AM

Sherow a better choice -7/2/2014, 9:01 AM

Fireworks, part II -7/2/2014, 9:01 AM

Reality show made in Topeka -7/1/2014, 8:53 AM

The justices and their cellphones -7/1/2014, 8:53 AM

LOB defeated -7/1/2014, 8:53 AM

Tragedy explored in 'Broken Heart Land' -6/30/2014, 9:14 AM

Mexico City: The adventure continues -6/30/2014, 9:14 AM

Even our youngest Americans are citizens -6/29/2014, 12:58 PM

Ban on fireworks -6/29/2014, 12:58 PM

It's time to teach active citizenship -6/29/2014, 12:57 PM

The education establishment's success -6/27/2014, 10:39 AM

Piecework professors -6/27/2014, 10:39 AM

Marriage for all -6/27/2014, 10:39 AM

Prairie chicken madness -6/26/2014, 4:17 PM

Omission control -6/26/2014, 10:12 AM

Equal in the eyes of the law -6/26/2014, 10:12 AM

Help wanted -6/26/2014, 10:12 AM

The old red barn -6/25/2014, 9:19 AM

Beware the unimaginable -6/25/2014, 9:19 AM

Early critic of school testing was right -6/24/2014, 8:53 AM

Finding something 'different' in Topeka -6/24/2014, 8:53 AM

Shopping small -6/24/2014, 8:53 AM

Into the classroom -6/23/2014, 8:55 AM

Wow! And thanks to you -6/23/2014, 8:55 AM

Fireworks double-standard -6/23/2014, 8:55 AM

Glass half full -6/22/2014, 5:57 PM

Brownback's experiment wallops taxpayers -6/22/2014, 5:56 PM

Examining the importance of 'where' we speak -6/22/2014, 5:56 PM

Slavery reparations -6/20/2014, 8:33 AM

'Help me plagiarize' -6/20/2014, 8:33 AM

Thank a farmer -6/20/2014, 8:33 AM

Here comes tomorrow -6/19/2014, 8:43 AM

Why Americans dislike soccer -6/19/2014, 8:43 AM

Switching to teaching -6/18/2014, 4:32 PM

Clinic closing good -6/17/2014, 9:59 AM

Other avenues -6/17/2014, 9:59 AM

Land grabs -6/17/2014, 9:59 AM

Lending a helping hand -6/17/2014, 9:59 AM

Mariel revisited -6/17/2014, 9:59 AM

Making for some summer fun -6/17/2014, 9:59 AM

Enough is enough -6/16/2014, 9:24 AM

What happened to April, May revenues? -6/16/2014, 9:24 AM

The VA and the Indians: Business as usual -6/16/2014, 9:24 AM

Water's strength -6/15/2014, 9:56 AM

In mosque fight, religious freedom wins -6/15/2014, 9:56 AM

Power of the woman -6/15/2014, 9:56 AM

Veterans deserve better -6/13/2014, 9:57 AM

School safety -6/13/2014, 9:56 AM

Who owns you? -6/13/2014, 9:56 AM

Proper licensure -6/13/2014, 9:56 AM

Kobach wants to end Medicare benefits -6/12/2014, 9:22 AM

Libertarians versus conservatives -6/12/2014, 9:22 AM

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SPOTLIGHT
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Will Dur$t'$ 2013 Chri$tmas Wi$h Li$t

Published on -1/2/2014, 9:47 AM

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It's the most wonderful time of the year. And finally over. Thank the maker. Because if the Little Drummer Boy was played within my immediate vicinity one more time, somebody was going to have a bacon-flavored candy cane crammed into an orifice that doesn't naturally accommodate candy canes. Bacon or otherwise.

Merchants are whining more money could have been spent celebrating the anniversary of the birth of the Baby Jesus, but perhaps Christian consumers got hip to their little mark-down games and are poised for the post-holiday sales, which in the tradition of modern retailing creep were being pushed before Santa flew south. Thinking five years is the over/under before the sanctity of Christmas performs the same dark death-dive Thanksgiving took this year.

But to ensure some traditions don't get inadvertently tossed out with the ribbons, wrapping paper and littlest nephew, let me offer my annual scathingly incisive yet curiously refreshing, Will Dur$t'$ 2013 Chri$tmas Wi$h Li$t for people who maybe didn't find the presents they truly deserved under the tree.

* For Chris Christie: The cape and tights necessary to save the Republican Party from itself.

* For Dennis Rodman: Some sort of force field that prevents Kim Jong Un from referring to him as "my favorite uncle."

* For medical science to study: Dick Cheney's heart. George Bush's brain. And Barack Obama's spine.

* For the city of Toronto: A handshake with Lorne Michaels to star Mayor Rob Ford in "The Chris Farley Story."

* For former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton: A testosterone reduction.

* For Vice President Joe Biden: The vial containing Hillary Clinton's excess testosterone. Or 5-gallon drum.

* For the Vatican: Another Pope. What the hell? Look at all the positive publicity they've produced with two.

* For the Republic of South Sudan: The discovery that there is no oil.

* For Anthony Weiner: A one-way ticket to a deserted South Sea island populated solely by poisonous snakes and sword grasses.

* For Vladimir Putin: A pogo stick for when he bounces around the truth.

* For Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos: A deal with the U.S. Postal Service to deliver the mail by drones. Eat that, FedEx.

* For Fox News: A cuddly little mascot named Ben Gazee.

* For Liz Cheney (whose political ambition caused her to throw her sister under the bus): A round trip ticket on the clue train.

* For the NSA: A tracking chip in every American citizen. For our security.

* For Republican moderates: A remote control muzzle for Ted Cruz.

* For Jay Leno: Another network late-night show that will crush NBC in the ratings.

* For Edward Snowden: A palate to appreciate borscht and vodka.

* For Kanye West: One of those new gold iPhones with all the top divorce lawyers across the country preset into the contacts list.

* For Miley Cyrus: An extreme make-over by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

* For the NRA: Enough .357 Magnums with armor-piercing explosive bullets to hand out to every school teacher in the country.

* For American school children: Kevlar uniforms.

* For Justin Bieber: Well-deserved obscurity.

* For President Barack Obama: Harry S. Truman's desk sign -- "The buck stops here."

* For the people of Texas: A state-wide timeout; to stop and think before executing people with IQs of 62. And stop electing them governor.

Will Durst is an award-winning

political comic.

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