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Holiday travel -12/19/2014, 10:16 AM

ALEC's starring role in the 'Wrecking Crew' -12/19/2014, 10:17 AM

Should profiling be banned? -12/19/2014, 10:06 AM

No right to misbehave -12/18/2014, 10:09 AM

Pompeo deserves thanks -12/18/2014, 10:00 AM

Executive orders -12/18/2014, 10:00 AM

Attack on Pearl Harbor -12/18/2014, 10:00 AM

Christ's role -12/18/2014, 9:59 AM

Governing vs. giving -12/18/2014, 9:58 AM

Adapting to change -12/17/2014, 10:30 AM

Brownback's 'vision' -12/17/2014, 10:30 AM

Young at heart -12/17/2014, 10:29 AM

Newman provides western Kansas education -12/17/2014, 10:29 AM

Big banks win again -12/16/2014, 9:37 AM

Securing the future of aerospace in Kansas -12/16/2014, 9:36 AM

The future with Brownback -12/16/2014, 9:36 AM

White Christmas, red Christmas -12/15/2014, 9:20 AM

A reason to celebrate -12/15/2014, 9:20 AM

Building a competitive opposition party -12/14/2014, 4:33 PM

Without religious freedom, there won't be peace -12/14/2014, 4:33 PM

Flying Hays later -12/14/2014, 4:33 PM

Allowing torture -12/12/2014, 10:11 AM

Racing to Lake Wobegone -12/12/2014, 10:10 AM

What's rule of law? -12/12/2014, 10:10 AM

Media bias -12/11/2014, 10:13 AM

It's not about race -12/11/2014, 10:12 AM

A new civil war -12/11/2014, 10:12 AM

Climate catastrophe -12/11/2014, 10:12 AM

The case of Scott Panetti -12/10/2014, 10:14 AM

Word origins -12/10/2014, 10:14 AM

Kansas will bleed -12/10/2014, 10:13 AM

Minions' mess -12/10/2014, 10:13 AM

Prescription farmers -12/10/2014, 10:12 AM

Vaccines make sense -12/9/2014, 11:02 AM

Net neutrality -12/9/2014, 8:45 AM

Tell me it isn't so? -12/9/2014, 2:53 PM

Willing to do without -12/9/2014, 8:45 AM

KDOT funding -12/9/2014, 8:45 AM

The man elected -12/8/2014, 10:00 AM

Understanding white privilege -12/8/2014, 10:00 AM

Making sure crime doesn't pay -12/8/2014, 10:00 AM

Do Kansans really care? -12/7/2014, 3:17 PM

Core freedoms under fire -12/7/2014, 3:17 PM

Nation needs new approach -12/6/2014, 3:17 PM

Tons of fun on tap -12/5/2014, 9:48 AM

A Christmas plea -12/5/2014, 9:48 AM

School privatization via convenient debt -12/5/2014, 9:48 AM

Race in America -12/4/2014, 10:20 AM

The gift of petroleum -12/4/2014, 10:20 AM

A Charlie Brown Christmas miracle -12/4/2014, 10:19 AM

Care and feeding of farm animals -12/3/2014, 10:19 AM

Let's talk about 'black on black' crime -12/3/2014, 10:19 AM

Sports complex -12/3/2014, 4:14 PM

-12/3/2014, 10:00 AM

Kudos to school for bilingual efforts -12/2/2014, 11:42 AM

Wages prompting county workers to seek better jobs -12/2/2014, 11:42 AM

County employees urge public's support -12/2/2014, 11:42 AM

'Horrible Bosses 2' disappoints;  new 'Star Wars' trailer thrills -12/2/2014, 10:19 AM

Power rests with House speaker -12/2/2014, 10:01 AM

Climate change -12/2/2014, 10:38 AM

Ferguson's pain -12/1/2014, 10:21 AM

Out of sight, or out of luck? -12/1/2014, 10:20 AM

Blacks, whites need to wake up to injustice -12/1/2014, 10:20 AM

Kansas turns South -11/30/2014, 5:33 PM

When should holy days become holidays? -11/30/2014, 5:33 PM

Future of health care -11/30/2014, 5:33 PM

Giving thanks -11/27/2014, 3:08 PM

Give a child hope and a home -11/26/2014, 9:12 AM

Holiday shopping -11/26/2014, 9:12 AM

Today's faults -11/26/2014, 7:45 AM

Meatless Mondays -- forget about it -11/26/2014, 7:45 AM

Cosby, serial rapist? That's a lot to forgive -11/26/2014, 7:45 AM

Letting it fly -11/26/2014, 7:45 AM

KanCare oversight -11/26/2014, 7:45 AM

Giving thanks for blessings as Kansans -11/25/2014, 10:11 AM

Local fixes to local problems? -11/25/2014, 10:11 AM

Energy security -11/25/2014, 10:11 AM

Elite contempt for ordinary Americans -11/24/2014, 9:12 AM

Pipeline politics -11/24/2014, 10:04 AM

They killed Peter Kassig -11/24/2014, 10:04 AM

Going from bad to good on election night -11/23/2014, 6:38 PM

Free Speech can be shield or a sword -11/23/2014, 6:38 PM

Dodge City merger -11/22/2014, 6:38 PM

House mis-speaker -11/21/2014, 9:50 AM

Obama vs. Us -11/21/2014, 9:50 AM

Really smart conservatives love public debt -11/21/2014, 9:50 AM

Official welcome -11/20/2014, 9:52 AM

Control freaks in the U.S. -11/20/2014, 1:24 PM

How did we get here? -11/20/2014, 9:52 AM

An open letter to the GOP -11/19/2014, 10:03 AM

Successful farming -11/19/2014, 10:03 AM

Getting personal -11/18/2014, 9:15 AM

Teachers, not facilities -11/18/2014, 9:15 AM

Schoolteachers and the Legislature -11/18/2014, 9:06 AM

Water vision -11/18/2014, 9:06 AM

I see wonderful things -11/17/2014, 9:26 AM

Politics prevail over truth in Kansas elections -11/17/2014, 9:26 AM

Progress at mall -11/16/2014, 5:22 PM

Opinions on the general election -11/16/2014, 5:22 PM

Why are schools afraid of freedom? -11/16/2014, 5:22 PM

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SPOTLIGHT
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Will Dur$t'$ 2013 Chri$tmas Wi$h Li$t

Published on -1/2/2014, 9:47 AM

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It's the most wonderful time of the year. And finally over. Thank the maker. Because if the Little Drummer Boy was played within my immediate vicinity one more time, somebody was going to have a bacon-flavored candy cane crammed into an orifice that doesn't naturally accommodate candy canes. Bacon or otherwise.

Merchants are whining more money could have been spent celebrating the anniversary of the birth of the Baby Jesus, but perhaps Christian consumers got hip to their little mark-down games and are poised for the post-holiday sales, which in the tradition of modern retailing creep were being pushed before Santa flew south. Thinking five years is the over/under before the sanctity of Christmas performs the same dark death-dive Thanksgiving took this year.

But to ensure some traditions don't get inadvertently tossed out with the ribbons, wrapping paper and littlest nephew, let me offer my annual scathingly incisive yet curiously refreshing, Will Dur$t'$ 2013 Chri$tmas Wi$h Li$t for people who maybe didn't find the presents they truly deserved under the tree.

* For Chris Christie: The cape and tights necessary to save the Republican Party from itself.

* For Dennis Rodman: Some sort of force field that prevents Kim Jong Un from referring to him as "my favorite uncle."

* For medical science to study: Dick Cheney's heart. George Bush's brain. And Barack Obama's spine.

* For the city of Toronto: A handshake with Lorne Michaels to star Mayor Rob Ford in "The Chris Farley Story."

* For former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton: A testosterone reduction.

* For Vice President Joe Biden: The vial containing Hillary Clinton's excess testosterone. Or 5-gallon drum.

* For the Vatican: Another Pope. What the hell? Look at all the positive publicity they've produced with two.

* For the Republic of South Sudan: The discovery that there is no oil.

* For Anthony Weiner: A one-way ticket to a deserted South Sea island populated solely by poisonous snakes and sword grasses.

* For Vladimir Putin: A pogo stick for when he bounces around the truth.

* For Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos: A deal with the U.S. Postal Service to deliver the mail by drones. Eat that, FedEx.

* For Fox News: A cuddly little mascot named Ben Gazee.

* For Liz Cheney (whose political ambition caused her to throw her sister under the bus): A round trip ticket on the clue train.

* For the NSA: A tracking chip in every American citizen. For our security.

* For Republican moderates: A remote control muzzle for Ted Cruz.

* For Jay Leno: Another network late-night show that will crush NBC in the ratings.

* For Edward Snowden: A palate to appreciate borscht and vodka.

* For Kanye West: One of those new gold iPhones with all the top divorce lawyers across the country preset into the contacts list.

* For Miley Cyrus: An extreme make-over by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

* For the NRA: Enough .357 Magnums with armor-piercing explosive bullets to hand out to every school teacher in the country.

* For American school children: Kevlar uniforms.

* For Justin Bieber: Well-deserved obscurity.

* For President Barack Obama: Harry S. Truman's desk sign -- "The buck stops here."

* For the people of Texas: A state-wide timeout; to stop and think before executing people with IQs of 62. And stop electing them governor.

Will Durst is an award-winning

political comic.

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