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myTown Calendar

SPOTLIGHT
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Tickets key to raising dough

Published on -6/9/2013, 2:37 PM

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WASHINGTON -- I came here to find out what was happening "inside the Beltway" but learned only one thing before my quest for information petered out.

What I learned is simple, but it might furnish the Republicans with a way to actually lower taxes. It's so simple it's brilliant.

This is what I found, so pay attention because I'm not going to repeat it. The District of Columbia uses traffic cameras to slow down the hot-rodders. The camera snaps a picture of you, also showing the speed of your travel, which is enclosed in an envelope that also carries your traffic ticket.

"Won't work," you might say. But you would be wrong. One such camera, located on a downtown street, raised more than $1 million in fines last year.

Now my idea is this: We'll raise a fortune from everyone's penchant for sticking their foot into their carburetor. You might remember the speed traps that made small towns infamous in years past. The motorists can't fight back because the traffic judge always declares you're guilty. So there you have it: A sure-fire method to pay for everything the government appropriates. It only remains for our legislators to be wise enough to create a tax-less future.

It's fortunate I stumbled onto this idea, because nothing else was clear inside the Beltway. About all I learned was the Republicans hate President Barack Obama so much they'll do anything to destroy him. They hate him so much they're willing to destroy our nation to accomplish that mad desire.

That's why we don't have a government right now. The rightward-leaning politicians all run around screaming "scandal" and "impeach" and won't halt long enough to think or consider anything else.

But they'd better be careful. If they miss this income-boosting opportunity, they might find themselves forced to tax sex.

But that's another story.

Darrel Miller lives near Downs in rural

Osborne County and is a retired

weekly newspaper editor.

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