Make appropriate plans to help avoid stress on vacations
This is the seventh in a series of eight articles about family vacations.
Q: What are some stress management strategies for family vacations?
A: The 2008 Maxine Calendar for June has the following advice: "Taking a family vacation to get away from stress is like running down the railroad track to get away from the train." Keeping that observation in mind, there are some ways to contain family vacation stress.
Spending a lot of time together before leaving to communicate expectations, plans and rules for the trip is a good way to start. Children, and adults as well, function better when they know what to expect. An example of clarifying expectations for the children would be explaining about the need to get to the airport with time to spare. However, children also need to be apprised ahead of time about airport delays and that the family could end up in a "hurry-up-and-wait" predicament.
If traveling by car, much attention needs to be given to needed breaks from car time. Children do not do well if confined to inactivity for any length of time. Therefore, frequent stops at rest areas or parks where children can run and play are essential. Parents sometimes get obsessive about reaching destinations as quickly as possible, but they need to change those expectations if traveling with children.
Another tip for traveling by car is to work out the seating arrangements ahead of time. Fighting over who gets to sit where can be an ongoing battle but can be minimized by planning ahead and getting commitments from all the children to stick to the plans.
Parents need to remember that hungry, tired and bored is a lethal combination for children. These conditions can be monitored by parents so these circumstances do not develop. Many parents travel during nap times and at night when children sleep. Such plans depend on the ages of children and may not be possible to work out if there are children with variations in age and sleep habits.
A family vacation can be fun and still be done on a budget. Setting up a plan for children's spending money is essential. They can choose how to spend their vacation allowance. Half can be given at the beginning of the trip and half in the middle. But parents should stick to the plan and not supplement the vacation allowance because children run out of money.
Parents need to follow the same rules. They need to spend what they planned. Loading up the credit card when running out of money means facing financial stress after the vacation is finished. That post-vacation debt defeats part of the purpose of the vacation: to provide relaxation and relief from stress. If parents expect their children to stick to their budgets, they need to do likewise.
A balance between predictability and flexibility is desirable. Unfortunately, trip outcomes cannot be controlled. Consequently, some flex time to allow for the unexpected and to allow for adding unplanned activities to the schedule is desirable.
Vacations are not the time for parents to stand on their principles about healthy foods and good eating habits. A week or two that includes favorite fast foods will go a long way toward making children happy. Relaxing the time limits for video games, i-Pods and DVDs also is appropriate.
Most children are more comfortable with routine and familiar surroundings. One way to build those conditions into vacations is to try to keep meals, naptimes and bedtimes as close as possible to normal schedules. The older the children, the more likely they can be flexible. However, parents themselves do better with familiarity and routine, so they should not expect too much from their children.
The best way to build in predictability on vacations is to give children enough information ahead of time so they know what to expect. Some families return to the same places every year because they like returning to familiar places.
* Next week's article will conclude stress management strategies for family vacations.
Judith Caprez is associate professor and director of social work at Fort Hays State University. Send your questions to her in care of the department of sociology and social work, Rarick Hall, FHSU.
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