Playing dress-up
It's Halloween on Saturday and, as always, I'm casting around for a costume. I was thinking about going as the infamous dad of Balloon Boy, Richard Heene.
It would give me the excuse to act like an idiot for an evening. Most of the time when I act like an idiot, I don't have Halloween as the cover, so I think it's a great idea.
Pardon the interruption: I also thought about going as Kanye West. No, I wouldn't dress up, I'd just interrupt everyone around me. Maybe then someone would start a Twitter theme about how I was dead. It's truly the year of the hoax.
All the cool kids are doing it: A friend suggested going as a vampire, because between "Twilight" and "True Blood" there's nothing cooler than being undead. And while I am pretty pale, hanging out with the "Twilight" crowd appeals to me less than Nadya Suleyman's parenting philosophy.
None of the above: I was going to go as President Obama's public option health care plan, but it's too hard to make a costume where you're invisible. In the interest of being bipartisan, I then considered going as Bill O'Reilly, but even I can't sustain random shouting for that long. Not gonna happen.
Friend requests: So then I thought about going as the new Facebook redesign, but figured everyone would tell me they preferred last year's costume. Father of the year Jon Gosselin seemed like a good costume, but the thought of having to wear a giant earring and Ed Hardy shirt made me throw up a little in my mouth. Scratch that idea.
Brilliant!: In the end, I think I'm going to go as post-Presidential George W. Bush.
That way I can just stay at home and relax, letting everyone else go out and trick-or-treat.
Be safe out there, everyone!
Chapman Rackaway is an associate professor of political science at Fort Hays State University.