Don't watch 'The Watch'
When most people get an idea they know is stupid and half-baked, they might joke about it to a friend or a co-worker, but most people wouldn't turn it into a multi-million dollar project. From my point of view, that's exactly what happened with "The Watch."
The basic premise of the film is a group of concerned citizens form a neighborhood watch and eventually end up fighting an expeditionary force for an alien invasion.
This film fails across the board. The plot is idiotic and feels like it was conceived in a 30-second water-cooler conversation. Multiple styles of comedy are attempted, such as situational and "gross out," and every one of them consistently comes up short. I made the effort to count and was mildly amused by only six jokes in the entire film.
The individual elements of the film are weak in both conceptualization and implementation; furthermore, the pieces are stitched together using an incomprehensible pattern. One of the biggest components of the end of the movie is only brought to light because of an earlier character development turn that is the result of an overlong, crude joke.
Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn continue to offer their respective brands of comedy to little effect. Even Jonah Hill, whom I have been extremely impressed with lately, fails to keep this sinking ship afloat.
Unfortunately, there is extremely little to like about "The Watch." It is one of the stupidest movies I've seen in quite a while and doesn't succeed at any of its major goals. It doesn't tell its senseless story well. It doesn't shock when it tries to be crude. Most disappointingly, it's a comedy that doesn't offer any laughs.
James Gerstner works at the Fort Hays State University Foundation and is the founder and editor of Six Horizons Media at sixhorizons.com. Contact James at firstname.lastname@example.org, @sixhorizons on Twitter, Facebook.com/sixhorizons.