As students, we study hard, spending late nights in the library testing our mental capacity so that we can build a solid foundation for our future.

We go on ramen diets, budgeting around the cost of books, rent and tuition, all so that we can earn the job of our dreams. If you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life, right?

Jumping right into your dream job just a few months out of college is the dream, right?

Making our moms proud that their babies are all grown up is everything, right?

I graduated from Fort Hays State University during COVID. A tough year to say the least- I never got to walk the stage, didn’t have the opportunity to finish out the softball season, essentially I had to face my future months earlier than I had planned as everything shut down.

But there was a loophole- I was given an extra year of eligibility. I was now a “COVID-athlete”, able to finish out my career. The only problem being, I already graduated college.

Again, loopholes. I studied towards a “second degree”, with no true intentions of earning a psychology degree. My only focus was softball, because it was my entire life for years and it got ripped away from me. All I wanted was to have control over how my last year ended.

For a year, I studied introductory and secondary level psychology courses. As something that interested me, and something I found easy, it never really felt like work. I felt like I had the year off, and I took advantage of that fully.

For a year, I made memories with friends. For a year, I worked my tail off to be the best pitcher in the conference.

For a year, I took a breath and felt the weight of adult life lifted off of my shoulders.

That extra year came and went faster than I ever could have imagined, and there I was, forced to enter the working world, the adult world, the stressful world, the boring world.

I watched friends move away from the town we formed bonds in, for the next few months we grew apart. I started a job at a bar to make extra cash while submitting resumes for the jobs I actually wanted.

I always joked that it couldn’t be possible. I had spent five years earning a degree to be a bartender.

For the summer, I stayed up until four in the morning serving drinks and listening to 90’s hits under strobe lights before scrubbing floors, counting tips and crashing for 12 hours.

Months into the job, I wondered how long this would be my normal, making meaningless conversations with people I didn’t know in hopes of getting a tip.

Living in Hays has become a comfort for me, I’ve always loved the big-small town feel. Big enough to have everything you need, small enough to not get lost on the way to the store, because God only knows I am helpless without GPS.

I’ve always been a very low attention span, high need for entertainment kind of person. The second I am bored, I am looking for anything to pass the time. So much so that one afternoon I spent hours clearing my email- my email.

Scanning through my spam folder, I found a message missed that felt like a gut punch. Three months prior, I had received a message of an employer showing interest in my work.

I’ve never picked up a phone faster in my life.

I called Hays Daily News, praying that the position wasn’t filled. Praying that something would be available. Within the next hour, I was on the phone with a Cherry Road employee discussing what my hopes were. From the parking lot of the bar, I set up an interview for a position as a sports reporter.

I clocked in late that day. I put in my two weeks only a few later.

The interview went amazing. But the issue now was, I know nothing about getting a job. I don’t know how to discuss a salary. I haven’t the slightest clue what a 401K is. My friend asked me about PTO and I stared at her without a thought behind my eyes.

This was what I wanted, right?

On November 8, I began my career as a sports reporter. On November 8, I realized- Hays had a lot more going on than sports, and not a lot of people to cover it.

I spent that week at the visitors center, high schools, the university, and endlessly on hold. But I was doing it, I was working. I finally felt like an adult. I started throwing around “dental insurance” like it was a part of my name because guess what, I have that.

On November 11, my first story was on the front page. At the time, I was on top of the world. I was so proud of that story, I still am. I wrote about the musicals being put on by local high schools, I photographed dress rehearsals and interviewed directors.

In my first ever published article, I wrote the word “urine” upwards of ten times, thank you Hays High School.

Throughout the next month I spent my weeks running around Hays to find stories, to keep the community reading. I had a mental breakdown trying to cover the Hays City Shootout, because it was impossible to squeeze into the gym during the Hays vs. TMP basketball games. But I did it.

That seemed to be my motto for a while, “but I did it”. I got comfortable with things that weren’t comfortable to me. I dove into conversations with strangers, I learned about the city of Hays, I even got soaked by the water bucket at the 1A football state championship while interviewing the coach.

The consistent feeling throughout was intense nerves, anxiety on the way to these events. But on the way home I was full of pride and so excited to call my mom and tell her about everything from that day.

When Bob Dole passed away, my editor asked if I could write a story about him. Being the epitome of a people-pleaser, I said of course.

But one thing, who is Bob Dole?

After that week, I wrote an article that was getting my name noticed around town. At college basketball games, I had people ask if I was the new reporter, and something about that felt so reassuring.

That piece felt like a turning point truly. I felt confident in my ability as a writer to connect with an audience and provide them with information, stories that they care about.

Heading into Christmas break, I was riding a high. I felt like I had proved what was necessary and could take time off. For about a month, I wrote articles about events in Hays, important information, but nothing I connected with.

My editor continued to remind me it was just a part of the job, but being so disconnected felt like I was cheating myself and Hays out of those “wow” stories.

My big stories had quite literally become old news, and I knew I needed to dig deeper. But honestly, it is hard to be the only fulltime reporter at the age of 23. I don’t feel connected to the older generation that have been subscribers for years. I don’t know how to make the younger generation want to engage in their community. Especially the ones whose time here is fleeting.

For the first few months, I convinced myself I was going to be the youngest Pulitzer prize winner in history. I hadn’t heard a complaint and my mom told me I was doing good and she would never lie to me right? She’s definitely not just trying to make me feel special, right?

And then the inevitable critiques hit.

Months later, I felt like I was incapable of putting a full sentence together without quadruple fact-checking to make sure the stories were accurate. If I was going to be anything, I was going to be credible and now that is being called into question.

I promise you, I thought I was going to lose my job over a misprinted date. People are harsh. It is not easy to read the “you should have’s”, because then all you do is sit there and thinkyes, I should have.

But gaining perspective is what the job is all about, right?

It took a lot for me to realize that the job is not about me. Thinking about the people these stories are about, it makes sense that they are upset with inaccurate information. So looking back, I see it as a learning curve. I was able to get those critiques early enough that now, I won’t make bigger mistakes on future stories.

I took it hard, to hear that my work was not perfect. But what a ridiculous thing to lose sleep over, because I can’t strive to be a perfect journalist. I can always strive to be better though, so that was the goal moving forward.

And then the burn out hit.

I am the only full-time writer for Hays Daily News, yes I know I’ve already mentioned it. My friends and I have joked that the paper could be called the Hays Hailey News endless times, personally I like it.

And while there is always a story out there, it is an exhausting process to navigate. Let’s walk through it.

Each week, I start by going through the Hays calendar of events. I mark out when each story should run, schedule my week for photos and potential interviews and meet with my editor.

Sounds easy enough, right?

I thought so. But then comes the actual getting in touch part. I’ve probably logged over 100 hours so far just sitting on hold. If I am this busy, imagine how busy a city official gets, I tell myself weekly.

And that is no one’s fault, we are all on our own deadlines. We are all doing our best to make the most of the 24 hours we have each day.

But then comes the “filler stories”. Stories with no “umph”, no “wow”. All news is important news and somebody wants to read it. But we’d be lying to ourselves if we said everytime we picked up a paper, we read every story and felt captivated equally throughout.

But those stories are still worth telling, because each story is a “wow” story for someone.

So what have I learned throughout my first five months as the Hays Daily News reporter?

I’ve learned above all, to be credible. My editor probably hates my guts at this point because once I write a story, I’ll spend hours fact-checking. I’ll wait on hold until the last minute to be able to have someone vocalize to me that yes, that information is correct and should be published.

If I am going to be the sole reporter for a decades old paper, I am going to be reliable.

But alongside that, I’ve learned that I can’t be perfect.

To err is human, right?

All I can really do is put in those hours ensuring that my stories are accurate, and with any uncertainty, maybe we just don’t publish it until we are sure. With any mistake that slips through the cracks, I apologize and correct the information. The best thing to do is to own the mistake and make it right.

I’m never going to promise perfection, but I can promise I’ll do my best.

The most important thing I have learned is about the people. Hays is a town with history and people have pride in that. I have pride in that. It’s a privilege to learn about this town everyday. I’ve been here six short years and something about Hays pulls me in and feels like home.

Hays celebrates its people. Everyone wants to acknowledge the accomplishments of the kids wearing Hays across their chest or the officials with Hays in their titles. Because who knows if this is a moment in history that people will look back on, just like we do now?

Who knows if this will become a story that is still told 50 years from now?

So, from a 23 year old, still figuring it out, I love you Hays, KS. Even when you don’t love me back.